Friday, September 24, 2010

Chasing Windmills's been a pretty tough week. So far I have only returned a few phone calls. I have such great support from my SWA family. Thank you , thank you thank you all.
Thank you Yaani-Mai and Gene for the coming to see me all the way from Dallas. Your visit was the best medicine. Just sorry you guys  missed the bear in our compost only two hours after you left!
Thank you LouAnn Alexander you are my hero.
Thank you Pam Walters for your warmth, support and kindness.
Thank you Cynthia Nielson for always being there and believing in me.
Thank you Linda Lipschultz for being my beautiful support system for all these years.
Thank you Mary Schwarze for being my army and all your words of wisdom.
Thank you Janet Reed, Patty Seward for your dear and forever  friendship.
Thank you AnnMarie Moto for your thoughts and beautiful smile.
Thank you Fields Williams for all the warm memories.
Thank you Patrice Watson for being there since the 9th grade and you're still here.
Yes, Beth Silver...that was my piano LOL!...what a funny memory.
Thank you Jenell Noland...for the beautiful letter you sent me on September 13th... I have printed it  below.

"I know you really don't know me, but I just wanted to let you know how you changed my attitude about being a flight attendant.The first time I saw you, you made me believe that there was still glamour in my job.
I patterned my professionalism based on you. You still carried glamour with you to work, despite the company effort to slum it down. You are a beautiful woman, and I only hope that one day, I can possibly hold myself with as much beauty and grace as you.I wish you well always"

Thank you James and Connie for your love your weekly letters and cards filled with love.
And thank you Mom and Fred Jr. and Tracee my family for your almost daily calls filled with love, hope, blessings and everything in-between....and you still keep giving.


And now for the update...not good news. The clinical trial with the new chemo drug Iressa 'getfitanib' did not work. It was to target only the tumor and shrink was not to cure , but to shrink thus hopefully given me perhaps 3.2 additional months....2 months into the pills and  it is not shrinking...I was told on Friday to stop taking the drug/Chemo as it is not working...and I am only dealing with the ugly side effects...instead...the tumor  has grown considerable since  my surgery in June,,,,and it is still growing.... a new growth  about the size of a quail egg that you can feel on my right side popped up... which we thought and had hoped it was a mass of scar tissue from the's cancer too. Regarding the cancer nodules on the lining of my lungs which the surgeon did not remove because there where too many, and the doctor said if he attempted to remove any of them , they would just re-seed themselves...well three of them have increased in size and are now over 1centimeter in size. It's all there's the update....ooooh wellll.
Regarding any chemo...chemo is not really advised as chemo is would only be palliative...meaning  taking away quality of life vs quantity of  life perhaps only adding a month longer...but way ok!  The fluid in my lungs is increasing so it is getting a little harder to breath...I will  go in next month for x-rays to check the amount of fluid and  see if  they need to drain me again....right under the right bobbie. I have already had one drainage so at least I know the procedure.
 If the headaches get worse then it's another CT scan for  brain metastasis...really looking forward to that. Sven and I have an appointment with  radiologist next month...but because of my Lupus , radiation should only be used as the finally option for the brain. But talking is a good thing right? if I'm off the radar for a while ...or it seems I'm not returning calls, messages... I swear I am still alive and kicking....yeah... I'm a good kicker!....I know you're there...sometimes it's just a little hard to talk....but I do read your mail and I feel the love and warmth of my family and friends....I'm just going to take some time with my hubby....listen to the music....and suck in a lot of good air....the air is realllly good here.
Here's to updating next month...and if you would like for me know that you were here on my blog... just sign up as a "follower" and I know you checked in...and you will get any updates that I am ableto post here... I will post here before I post on facebook.
See you in October


  1. I'm following. And now commenting. Sorry you have to have this happen.

  2. Oh my dearest Desiree! I am crying and speechless. I just want you to know that I love you and have such respect for the dignity you have always had especially in light of all this unfairness.
    I have so many fond memories of working with you. You taught me so much about life just being you. I still have "Underwear outside the Pants" CD in my car (6 years later!) Thoughts of you appear in so many places in my life. All good.
    Please know that we have nothing but love and prayers coming your way.
    Melissa and John

  3. Desiree- I am here and have been checking in to see how you are doing.
    This must have been a difficult post to show such strength and character. I hope that your friends and family keep you company and hug you often.

  4. My dearest Desiree - there is not much I hate in this world - but I HATE cancer! I am so sorry this ugly beast has raised its head and invaded the body of one of the most amazing women I know. It may be attacking your body - but never your spirit. To me, you have shown more grace and dignity in facing this beast than anyone I know ~ which doesn't surprise me.
    I will never forget the first time I laid eyes on you - November 18, 1982. You arrived to see Fields get his wings at our SWA 'graduation' - you walked in the room and I was speechless. Your beauty and grace literally took my breath away.....some things never change!! I salute you Desiree - keep fighting the good fight - you are so very loved!

  5. This is something I feel the need to share with all the wonderful individuals who have given their love, support and endless prayers to my 'first born' Desiree and her incrediable, super special husband,Sven. As this is not about me, and words are only symbols....There are no words for what I'm feeling,so I will share (Forgive me my precious daughter and son-in-law, if I cross a few boundries). Desiree's dad was very ill (June, 2007) His physician said "It is time to call his kids". Desiree and Sven had scheduled to the detail their move from Seattle to Canada. Moving vans, drivers lined up, and Dez right in the middle of taking inventory.Soooooooooooooo very much to do. Desiree gets the 'Call'.She leaves quickly for Kansas City.What was Sven to do? He did what any other man would have found impossible! I can;t imagine how Desiree felt leaving him with out her considerable support. (Throughout the years, whereever she might be located, whenever there was a family emergency...She came.) It was hextic and a mess. I thought it was 'the worst of times. Oh, how little did I know. I was a zombie (Dez told me later that in the hospital room, she knew the exact moment I left planet earth. Other family and close friends were there to give her some assistance,But my beautiful, intelligent daughter with her "Know How" took over with professional,wisdom and gentleness and frequent telephone conferences with her wonderful, supportive husband. (meanwhile, I sought refuge in my zombie-like trance.) i didn't know, what I should have known. Nothing was where it should have been She managed and planned everything. It was beautiful. It would not, could not have happened without Desiree and Sven. She did get some support, not nearly what she should have (except from Sven). She needed me and I wasnt present. My nickname for Desiree has always been "Sunshine" (That is what she is for me) I take some confort now knowing that with her loving supportive husband, his family, her Army of friends and her family,and God's Love she can weather horrific storms. Always and always my precious daughter, you are loved

  6. Dear Desiree:

    I just flew with Linda last week, also one of my fav's!!!! I know you won't remember me, we flew together a handful of times, over the past 14 years.... but the first time was when I was brand new. I can say "Ditto" to the lovely letter you posted from Janell. I watched you from the corner of my eye on that trip and the ones that followed over the years. You made everything look smooth, easy, natural, so very graceful Desiree. So very beautiful, not because you were gifted on the outside with your looks but of what radiated from within you to the surface. A beauty to the core. A complete butterfly in my eyes. These past 5 years I've been stuck working weekends as I'm now a single parent. The majority of the time I work with new people and I attempt to pattern myself after you - to greet them with the gracefulness and kindness you did with me. I was so sorry to hear about your illness from Linda. I stood in the front galley, nearly dark, on a late night flight and was absolutely stunned last week. I still am Desiree. My heart is heavy for you, your husband, friends and your family. It's amazing how many lives you have touched, in simple ways which altered their course. Thank you for showing me the way.

    Diane Cavanaugh
    OAK 39541

  7. Hey Desiree,I am glad you just want to spend quite time with your hubby. I was freaking out until I just read this blog. I want to come see you in the coming days. Just let me know when and I will get on a pass and come see you. Pat-rice