Chasing Windmills

...it's been a pretty tough week. So far I have only returned a few phone calls. I have such great support from my SWA family. Thank you , thank you thank you all.

Thank you Yaani-Mai and Gene for the coming to see me all the way from Dallas. Your visit was the best medicine. Just sorry you guys  missed the bear in our compost only two hours after you left!

Thank you LouAnn Alexander you are my hero.

Thank you Pam Walters for your warmth, support and kindness.

Thank you Cynthia Nielson for always being there and believing in me.

Thank you Linda Lipschultz for being my beautiful support system for all these years.

Thank you Mary Schwarze for being my army and all your words of wisdom.

Thank you Janet Reed, Patty Seward for your dear and forever  friendship.

Thank you AnnMarie Moto for your thoughts and beautiful smile.

Thank you Fields Williams for all the warm memories.

Thank you Patrice Watson for being there since the 9th grade and you're still here.

Yes, Beth Silver...that was my piano LOL!...what a funny memory.

Thank you Jenell Noland...for the beautiful letter you sent me on September 13th... I have printed it  below.

"I know you really don't know me, but I just wanted to let you know how you changed my attitude about being a flight attendant.The first time I saw you, you made me believe that there was still glamour in my job.

I patterned my professionalism based on you. You still carried glamour with you to work, despite the company effort to slum it down. You are a beautiful woman, and I only hope that one day, I can possibly hold myself with as much beauty and grace as you.I wish you well always"


Thank you James and Connie for your love your weekly letters and cards filled with love.
And thank you Mom and Fred Jr. and Tracee my family for your almost daily calls filled with love, hope, blessings and everything in-between....and you still keep giving.

THE UPDATE

And now for the update...not good news. The clinical trial with the new chemo drug Iressa 'getfitanib' did not work. It was to target only the tumor and shrink it...it was not to cure , but to shrink thus hopefully given me perhaps 3.2 additional months....2 months into the pills and  it is not shrinking...I was told on Friday to stop taking the drug/Chemo as it is not working...and I am only dealing with the ugly side effects...instead...the tumor  has grown considerable since  my surgery in June,,,,and it is still growing.... a new growth  about the size of a quail egg that you can feel on my right side popped up... which we thought and had hoped it was a mass of scar tissue from the surgery...well...it's cancer too. Regarding the cancer nodules on the lining of my lungs which the surgeon did not remove because there where too many, and the doctor said if he attempted to remove any of them , they would just re-seed themselves...well three of them have increased in size and are now over 1centimeter in size. It's all in-operable....so there's the update....ooooh wellll.
Regarding any chemo...chemo is not really advised as chemo is would only be palliative...meaning  taking away quality of life vs quantity of  life perhaps only adding a month longer...but painful...no way ok!  The fluid in my lungs is increasing so it is getting a little harder to breath...I will  go in next month for x-rays to check the amount of fluid and  see if  they need to drain me again....right under the right bobbie. I have already had one drainage so at least I know the procedure.
 If the headaches get worse then it's another CT scan for  brain metastasis...really looking forward to that. Sven and I have an appointment with  radiologist next month...but because of my Lupus , radiation should only be used as the finally option for the brain. But talking is a good thing right?

...so if I'm off the radar for a while ...or it seems I'm not returning calls, messages... I swear I am still alive and kicking....yeah... I'm a good kicker!....I know you're there...sometimes it's just a little hard to talk....but I do read your mail and I feel the love and warmth of my family and friends....I'm just going to take some time with my hubby....listen to the music....and suck in a lot of good air....the air is realllly good here.

Here's to updating next month...and if you would like for me know that you were here on my blog... just sign up as a "follower" and I know you checked in...and you will get any updates that I am ableto post here... I will post here before I post on facebook.
See you in October